Full of Contradictions

I married Brand for a myriad of reasons, many of which I try to highlight here because he is amazing and I feel everyone should know that (not that most of you care but whatever). But one thing I like to brag about my husband is his incredibly progressive views on women.

I'm incredibly fortunate that he has these views because I'm a bit...gasp..progressive myself.

I am a woman wrapped in contradictions. I'm a domestic, Christian, progressive, feminist. Not a feminist in the traditional sense (though I do appreciate their advocacy and their incredible intelligence) but a feminist in the sense that I am sensitive to the plight of women past and present and what I can do for them in the future.

That being said...

I also enjoy cooking, cleaning, baking, and will one day stay at home to be with my children (happily!..and my choice!) Today I cooked a lot and had a sparkly clean kitchen at the end of it. In fact, I always have a sparkly clean everything. I clean everyday...a little bit here, a little bit there (it's actually a lot more organized than that but you get the point). However, I think the cleaning is more driven by my OCD than my need to please my husband. I also cook and bake for fun (though knowing Brand will enjoy the outcome is also a fun driving force, because in the end...I love him and I do things that will make him happy). I feel energized after an afternoon of cooking and cleaning.

However, I feel the feminist bit kind of shaking her head at me sometimes.
Why as a college-educated, honors graduated woman must you be so thrilled with these little domestic, mundane tasks that the women before you worked so hard to free you from?
Why did you spend $35,000 on a degree where you get to be socially active and make a difference in the world..just to eventually end up staying at home raising a bunch of snot-nosed brats? (To really piss Ms. Insider-Feminist I tell her that I would've spent more to find the man of my dreams like I did...oh man she hates that!)

Well Ms. Insider-Feminist..here is how I answer you:
First of all, the women before me worked so hard so that I could choose my path in this life. I want to raise my children to believe they can be anything they want to be, even if that means staying at home with their children (yes..my sons will be raised to believe that if they want to be Mr. Mom then good for them!) Also, a part of my OCD and need for control yearns for the simplicity of my domestic tasks. I work in a field that can be incredibly challenging and heartbreaking. Sometimes there aren't answers for the questions that face me. So I like to come home and do those things that I know I have a bit of control over. It can be quite therapeutic (so can a Battlestar Galactica marathon on Netflix..yes to add to the group of adjectives..I.Am.A.Nerd).

Secondly, my choice to be a stay-at-home mom was made long before I met Brand. Thankfully he was okay with whatever made me happy. I know that he values my intelligence and how hard I have worked my whole life to be a good student, a thirsty learner, and a productive member of society. Brand is a man that sees me as his intellectual equal and never doubts my abilities (usually he's the one encouraging me OUT of my own self-doubt). To be a stay-at-home mom does not mean that I have given into the American Dream's ideals or even to some people's version of Christian ideals..it means that I want to take on the incredibly difficult task of being a mom at home. It means that I will put faith in God that He will provide for us with only one job so that I can be close to my kids. However, I know if I decided to go back to work one day..Brand wouldn't hesitate to back me up. And the kids won't be at home forever, and at that time I will get the chance to look at a new journey and to see what God has for me next.*

I.am.not.a.trophy.wife. My husband brags about me..yes about my banana bread and my spinach dip..but he mostly brags about me to others about what I do for a living and about who I am...not what I produce in the kitchen. I am incredibly blessed to be married to a man who was raised by an incredibly strong woman. To be married to a man that believes in justice for women and to be married to a man who looks at me much more than his cook, his maid, and his baby-maker. I am valued way beyond that in his eyes.

Because my value isn't in my cleaning skills, my baking or cooking skills, my ability to organize, my performance at work, the way I look, or even the way my husband sees me...it is valued in God and His grace for me. That's why I can be a contradiction because all those adjectives don't really define me...they just help describe how God made me.



*Check this funny blog post out regarding the stay-at-home mom vs. working mom debate...love it! Yes there is some foul-language..I told you I'm progressive people!

Happy anniversary to my favorite couple!

Dear Josh and Rheanne,

The first time I met you Rheanne I'm pretty sure I knew that this was the girl for you, Josh. You brought her to mom's apartment after you both watched me perform in Steel Magnolias my senior year of high school. And, to say the least, Josh, you looked completely ga ga over Rheanne! Which makes sense because you are a beauty Rheanne :)

Josh, I remember the day you came home with Rheanne's engagement ring. You looked so nervous but so excited! You slipped the ring on my right hand because Rheanne and I had similar hand sizes and held it and you said "yup that's right!". 

I remember the day you were going to propose. Dad and I were nosy so we took a day trip to Redfish Lake to say hi to the unknowing Rheanne and the nervous Joshie. We were so excited to hear that Rheanne said she'd be your wife when you asked her on the beach, at sunset, at one of the prettiest spots in Idaho.


 And a little less than a year later...

No wonder your kid is so darn cute...you guys are good looking!

Josh and Rheanne, I admire your relationship. For one thing, you both make each other better people (Rheanne, you definitely make Josh more awesome haha...I think you were just amazing to begin with). I also love that you guys are always completely yourselves. I am so happy that you guys didn't hide in your love cave like so many newlyweds do and that you included all of us in this crazy new adventure. You guys have been a blessing to me, to our family, and to my new marriage.
Josh, you told me when I was engaged what you liked the most about being married. You said that you loved not having to leave Rheanne at the end of the night. That you were home and home was with her.You were so giddy and so obviously still in love with Rheanne.
You guys rock at your marriage and rock at being parents to the best kid around.
These past five years have been so amazing to watch you guys grow as a couple and as parents. I love you guys so much and I'm so happy to have you in my life.
I hope you guys have a fantastic anniversary!

Love,
Allison

P.S..This wouldn't be complete without my demand of another niece or nephew...so go make one :)

Making our HOME look like a HOUSE

So, confession time!

Brand and I have lived in our humble abode for over a year and a half (we spent the first four months of our marriage in a tiny apartment that inhibited us from having the large dog we wanted and due to the close range of all the smokers...frequently smelled like an ash tray). We happily moved to our split level 3 bedroom 1.5 bath with den and yard in January of 2010 (I have to say...I'm pretty sure this house is the biggest house I've ever lived in...even when I lived with my 3 siblings and two parents). However, due to several circumstances out of our control that left us only spending money on food and necessities (and dream trip to Ireland)...this house has remained mostly...blank.

We have two pictures...TWO..pictures up that are actually engagement pictures. We never even got our wedding pictures up because of the cost. But now, that is going to change :)
For our 2 year anniversary gift to each other, we are finally getting our wedding pictures blown up and framed how we want it. Hopefully it'll be the kick in the pants to do the rest of the house.

This is the longest I've lived somewhere since I graduated high school and it does feel like home and I'm tired of these white walls.

Each room is, of course, going to be carefully planned. The only crappy thing is that I cannot paint these walls since we are renting so I'll be adding color here and there.

The room I'm most excited about is the Lair. It is our family room downstairs that is used most frequently for LAN parties (and cooling off in the hot summer because we do not have AC). While all the other rooms will be classy and sweet but still have our style, the Lair will totally feed into our nerdy side. We'll have posters of our favorite movies, fun movie quotes, and of course...a nod to our love/fear of zombies. It will be brilliant! It'll take time and money (time because we don't want to spend all the money at once) but it will be fun. We're not sure how long we'll live here but I'd rather make it home now.

Also, this will allow me to do some much wanted (note: not needed) organizing.

So this will be my project for the next however long it takes me. My dilemma is I see how everyone decorates their house and it all seems to look the same to me. So I'm trying to figure out a way to make it look modern but US. I want one of a kind pieces and things that scream US (without it being obvious like BSU Broncos and zombies). It'll be hard to pull off but I've been looking at thrift stores and hope to hit some markets. Plus, Rheanne is an amazing artist (so is her sister who I'm pretty sure I will be commissioning to do her adorable robot paintings for our children's nurseries when the time comes) so I'm not lacking in the artistic eye section in the family. And when we were in Ireland I was really inspired by the design of the homes and the whole vibe that Ireland gave off. It was a little different and felt it had depth and history to the design rather than just copying the pages out of Pottery Barn. I'm not artsty at all and I don't think I'm a designer but I'm really excited to get started...
Hopefully I'll have pictures as things progress!

End of an Era

Last night marked the end of an era for me. Brand and I, with two of our friends, went to the midnight showing of Harry Potter (in 3D..best 3D ever..really beautiful). I won't go on for long but that I am sad the movies are done just like I was when the books were done except now I don't have any more Harry to look forward to (except hopefully a visit to Harry Potter land!) Basically, the movie was fantastic. Not just as a Harry Potter movie but as a movie in itself. Great performances, directing, writing, etc just a great movie!
I can't wait to see it again, and again and again. I will be perfectly fine with it breaking my previous most-watched in theaters movie XMen (7 times!). I know that's a lot of money but it will be totally worth it!

SO excited!! Brand likes to pretend he doesn't care...but I know he does ;)

So if anyone needs a date to Harry Potter...I will happily go with them.:)
Thanks Harry, Ron, and Hermione (oh and Neville..you are such a BAMF!) You guys rock!

Enjoying life as it is

So last year I threw a pity party via blog entry. I'd link it buttt..I'll make you find it if you really want to read it.
Yes, I want to be a mom. There's no hiding that. And I will be someday (FYI: We are not trying at the moment. I get asked almost every day by a strict Catholic elderly lady with some memory problems when we are going to have a baby...complete with a belly patting action..my belly not hers. Well as a strict Catholic, I'm not entirely sure she realizes that birth control is part of my daily schedule...I'm pretty sure she thinks I'm infertile..anyway..)
When people find out we do not have children yet they tell me all sorts of things to enjoy before we have kids. So I've been taking this wisdom and put life into a new perspective.
A list of things I enjoy doing baby-free:
1.) Spending so much time with Brand uninterrupted. I love hanging out with Brand and I know that will change when we have a baby because I'll be with Brand a lot but not without a baby attached or smelling like spit up.
2.) Sleeping. This may be the thing I enjoy the most. I love sleep. I nap a lot. To me: this is birth control alone.
3.) Showering when I want.
4.) Going out to eat. Brand and I made a decision the other day. We could save a lot of money for our future by not going out to eat ...and be really bored. Or we can go out to eat baby-free and really enjoy it because once a baby comes along..it's a different story..so I hear...from many people.
5.) Road trips and vacations. We are SO happy we went to Ireland this year. Because once babies come along that is not going to realistically happen because it's frowned upon to get drunk off of oozo at your uncle and aunt's house in Greece when you have kids.
6.) Seeing movies, grocery shopping, plane rides...etc. All things easier baby-free.
7.) A clean house. I'm a clean freak and I have been told this may be something I have to give up when my offspring come along. What's more important: a super clean house or spending time with baby? I'll take time with baby and I'll just try not to think about the unoiled furniture, the dirty windows, and the baseboards not being vacuumed.
8.) Leaving within 5 minutes of the time that we planned to leave. Babies require a lot of things and those things need to go with them everywhere they go. Plus, I do not get along with carseats. They hate me and at least with Ollie's carseat one side is always tight and the other is always loose and it takes me a good while before they are normal.
9.) My body. I know it's shallow but I will enjoy my pre-baby body. Everyone says I'll go back to my shape after I have a baby. Like they can read the future??! Please I appreciate the encouragement but let me be realistic and recognize that having a baby changes your body. I'm ok with that but I'll enjoy what I have while I've got it (there are a few clothes that I'll be sad to give up when I can't fit in them anymore).
10.) Less worry. I worry...a lot...I can't even imagine how much I'll worry when someone's life is in my hands. 
11.) Sleep. This deserves to be said twice.


So you moms out there, I'm sure you can add like a million more (hello having both arms available!) but I think you can all agree that you'd give up these things time and again if it means to have your bebe. So I'll take the advice I've been given and enjoy the heck out of these things while I can. Because sometimes I think the ETD (Estimated Trying Date) is far away but as Brand keeps reminding...it's really not :)

Happy Independence Day!

This Independence Day rocked hardcore folks. Any time spent with my family is the best time ever and this holiday always has memories attached to it. Also, since I went to Ireland and saw how crappy the Brits were to them...I appreciate our independence a bit more...so this was a special Independence day.
Here are some highlights:

• McCall on Saturday morning with my dad, my lovely, my sister, my brother, and Ollie was beyond awesome! Pancake house, huge scoops of ice cream, and watching Ollie play on the beach was the best.
• Dance party with Ollie!
• Yummy homemade dinner courtesy of my aunt and mom and then hanging out in the backyard watching the dogs and Ollie play.
• Kickball game with family and friends! My team lost horribly but I did score! It was good times in hot weather.
• Ollie's first experience with sparklers and pop its!
• Monday Josh and I got our haircut by his talented sister-in-law and we jammed out to some Sleigh Bells
• The HUGE fireworks show was preceded by hanging out with my handsome, my siblings, and our awesome friends.
• And, of course, Ollie did not disappoint on the comedy..here are some of my favorite Ollie-isms from this weekend:
• "The moon is made of sour cream"
• "Bug! STOMP!" (and stomped on the bug...such a boy)
• "Now I have annergies"
• Darin: Ollie why is your hand down your pants? Ollie: my butt itches! (again..such a boy)
• Me: Ollie where did you get that scratch on your arm? Ollie: I dreamed that a spider bit me in the lab.  (then whenever you asked him after this about the scratch he just said a spider bit me in the lab)
• Ollie was getting pretty spazzy while drinking some Powerade before the fireworks..Me: There's sugar in that Powerade huh?. Ollie: Ohhhhhh yeaaaaaahhhhhh!
• While holding him..Ollie: Where's Aunt Allison? Where is she? I can't find her!..seriously a comedian this kid.
• Josh shared a few of the Ollie-isms I've missed:
• "That song is from Toilet!"-referring to the Twilight soundtrack..he loves the soundtrack because even though the movie sucked it has great music.
• He also knows who the Foo Fighters are..even if its a brand new song he knows what it is.
• Hard rock music is bad music (as in awesome music) and acoustic music is good music (as in for good guys)

So overall this past weekend was fantastic. Its always hard to come back to Spokane when I have so much fun with the family. But the distance definitely makes me grateful for the blessings I have :)

To check out more pictures I took of my time with family...lookie here