I'm a lover, therefore I'm a fighter.

I think I can call it. This February has been the longest of my life. I feel like January flew by and February is just sneering at me taking its time. I've said earlier that I want time to march slowly these days, and I continue to see the beauty of time slowed down a bit but this is a bit ridiculous. I also haven't contributed to the blogosphere since the end of January so maybe that's it. But truthfully, I believe it's because life has been quite...unforgiving.
I'm incredibly blessed with an amazing husband, wonderful family, fantastic friends, and an income (look I know my adjectives!).
That being said:
1.) My husband continues to show me how truly blessed I am every step of our marriage. As life and circumstances in our life become increasingly heavy and mortal, I've learned how blessed I really am to have my best friend by my side. He's been my rock as I've cried through my dad's diagnosis and prognosis. He is always showing me God's grace in placing me with my most perfect partner. But lately, he's had to lean on me as well. His best friend since childhood was diagnosed with a type of lymphoma. Lucas bravely began his fight last week with his first round of chemotherapy. After fighting for our country in Afghanistan, he is now fighting for his life. Brand is an optimist in these things but I think even being an optimist for my dad's situation (which is mostly futile unless a miracle happens, which we do believe can!) and then being an optimist for Lucas (which is MUCH more likely, praise the Lord!) can be a bit difficult. So I'm learning how to be strong for Brand as well. God's teaching both of us the fragility of life and that we must depend on Him for our strength.

2.) As stated above, my dad's terminal diagnosis still stands after another round of tests. He's doing well right now as long as he doesn't push himself in exercise. Try to tell a former marathoner, crazy bike rider, hiking lover, insane snowboarder, and all around athlete to stop exercising. It's hard. It appears his medication is helping more than is normal for people. He goes in for another round of tests in May to address his progress but according to his doctors, the diagnosis still stands as ALS. It was devastating to me to hear this news. To see him doing so well at Christmas and then again in January after how fast he was declining brought a lot of hope and then to have my hopes crushed was incredibly difficult for me to deal with even though my dad is at peace with it. It weighs on me to plan our lives accordingly so that we can spend as much time with my dad as possible. Hopefully, he has many years ahead of him but even if he does, those years will most likely not be full of him as he is now.

3.) As if attacking my husband and my family weren't enough, now one of my best friends faces a potential cancer fight. I pray that God will spare her at the very least. She's been incredibly strong in this and she truly inspires me. I love her to death and I will be right there by her side no matter what but I still have hope that God has a different plan. And if not, then I will be there to watch an already strong woman show cancer who's boss.

4.) Work has been incredibly stressful. My caseload has increased exponentially and that means more people to visit, more referrals to make, just more work, in the same amount of time I had before (which is not a lot).

Needless to say: I'm exhausted..mentally, emotionally, and physically.

BUT...
There are three people mentioned above that are really in the midst of these hardships that have the real fight ahead of them. As much as I wish I could take their place, I cannot. So I pray for guidance, words of encouragement, and my heart to be available as much as they need it.
And, I must say, I'm incredibly grateful that I have people in my life that I love so much that their heartbreaks are my heartbreaks, that their successes are even better than my successes, and that their fight takes precedent over my "fights". And with all that, I have a job doing what I love with people I love.
Complaining and "woe is me" attitude is futile because there is someone out there fighting against something harder than you are. Guaranteed. Be grateful for the life you have and look out for those fighting a bigger fight and fight alongside them.

Legacy

This past weekend Brand and I jetted down to Boise for a quick, but blessed weekend. We got to spend Saturday celebrating the 90 years of life God has given my beautiful Grandma Louise (and according to her doctor, she's living until she's 96, but she's aiming for 100..atta girl!)
Let's run the numbers real quick
3: The number of kids she birthed, raised, comforted, and loved
7: The number of grandkids that have sat on her lap, played with her ancient toys, and delighted in her yummy quesadillas
6: The number of great-grandkids that have brought the name "grandma" or "grandpa" to the children she birthed.
3: The number of great-great-grandkids that have begun a new generation in her legacy.


That's my grandma. A legacy leaver.
Celebrating with my cousins and the rest of the family was so much fun. I saw family I hadn't seen in years. And we laughed and joked like we had just seen each other yesterday. That's because we all have that firey Ekhoff blood in us that connects us. Basically, we're all hilarious and quick on our feet.
But the greatest part, was honoring our Grandma Louise. This woman is unlike any other woman I've met. She is tiny but so strong. She is quiet but oh-so-smart. She is ambitious, but a hopeless romantic. One of my favorite memories of my grandma actually happened within the last couple years. She brought out her yearbooks and we browsed through them. Page after page something caught my eye. My grandma was in almost every club she could be in as a woman in the late 30's. She was president of almost every club and even captain of her basketball team. She was smart, ambitious, and a go-getter. My dad then told me that she had received a full scholarship to University of Idaho but didn't tell my grandpa John because she knew that he would make her go and get her education and all she wanted to do was get married to the love of her life. My grandpa found out much later and got pretty mad (mad props to my grandpa for being a forward-thinker). That's my grandma, one smart lady. Also, she still wears her wedding ring 40 years after my grandpa died, loves her BSU Broncos, calls Josh out on his board game cheating ways, and rocks at Scattergories. My grandma rocks.
Happy 90th Grandma! Can't wait to celebrate your 100th!

Mi hermano

Today is a very special day. Today is my baby, little, younger brother's 24th birthday. It's a little insane if you ask me. Stephen isn't a 24 year old to me, he's still that blond boy that taught me football, how to tackle, played Jurassic Park with me, made up dances to 5ive with me, "sold" rocks using a questionable sales tactic, and rode bikes motorcycles all over the neighborhood. He's still the boy that I would trade "heater spots" with so he could play Super Nintendo before we left for school. The boy who usually had one sock sort of on (usually with a hole) and butter and jam smiles. The boy who wrangled up his best friends to beat up the 5th grader that called me a mean word (the boy that got his larger friend to sit on this boy until he apologized). Yup he's still the boy in his optimist football uniform, his AAU basketball uniform. Still the boy who not only knows some of my embarrassing moments but was usually there laughing at me when they happened.
But, he grew up into a man. He grew from a cute jock into a handsome musician, artist, and a bit of a football nerd still. He grew up to be part of the 3-man crew that showed me that it was going to be impossible to settle because they had set my expectations so high. He grew to be one of my best friends. One of the people I cried to, cried with, laughed with, dreamed with, and one of the people that will always melt my heart no matter how mad he makes me.
He's my little brother. He's not actually little but he'll always be my Stephen Timothy. I have a lot of great childhood memories and since Stephen is the closest to my age, most of them involve him. He was my greatest playmate.
So Stephen, on your birthday, I wish you happiness, peace, and the creativity to achieve those. Don't sell yourself short. Dream big and press hard after them. I'm excited to see what God has planned for you this year. I know one thing, there's a new little girl that you are going to protect. Little Meemo is going to have the best uncle in the world to look after her and teach Ollie how to weed out those dumb boys that are most surely going to be following her around. This year is going to be awesome, I can tell :)
I love you baby brother and happy 24th birthday :)

Another reason to love him.

Here's something you may not know about my Brand. He is a big softie. He likes to joke that he's a robot without feelings but luckily I get to see how false that is on a daily basis. Yesterday, our Dexter had these horrible bumps on his nose that today we found out were the result of an easily treatable bacterial infection. But before we knew that I went on a Google spree trying to diagnose my dog (next time one of my animals decides to have something wrong with them, it needs to be on a day a regular vet is opened, not a Sunday). I worried so much knowing that it was probably something like an infection or allergic reaction. But Brand kept calm for me and for Dexter. He talked in his sweet voice to Dexter and kept making sure we were both okay. And even though I knew he was worried (he also went on a Google spree), he was our rock.
I can only imagine that when we have kids and I'm freaking out every day about something they might have, I'm definitely going to need my rock to get me through it sanely.
So Brand, thank you for being the best dad ever to our sweet furry boys. We love you :)

Dexter is a cuddler.

Give it a Chance

That title sounds like this is going to be one of those really thoughtful blogs huh? Not.At.All.

I'm a huge Project Runway fan. I love fashion, design, wacky people, Heidi Klum, and because of Project Runway, Tim Gunn.(I may cry if I ever meet this lovely man). So when I heard there was going to be a Project Runway: All Stars, I was all on board. This meant the wackiest of them all which meant a few of my favorites are back (sadly, Andre and his awesome faces are not..sadsies). However, when they said the regular judges, Heidi Klum, and Tim Gunn were not...I was baffled..and turned off. But, then I heard from a reviewer that this season will be more hilarious, more awesome, more fashionized (?) than the rest PLUS Mondo my absolute fave was going to be back to claim what should have been his in the first place, Project Runway winner. (Gretchengate: look it up, barf at her hideous clothes, then realize that your unknown dream of fashion designer can come true if hers did).

Gretchen, that is a diaper. Nothing says sexy like incontinence

So tonight I watched it. And despite the awkwardness of the new host (at least she's pretty but she doesn't say auf wiedersehen) and the fact that they aren't at the legendary Parsons School of Design but 1407 Broadway (for the record, totally been to both now: NYC for the win.) it was pretty awesome. They even got rid of who I wanted them to get rid of! And Mondo is already looking strong. I swear if some undeserving female wins again just because it's on Lifetime...I'll keep watching who am I kidding.

My personal picture of Parsons, magic happens here people, magic...and diapers.

So there we go. You've just entered into the mind of Allison. I love TV and I love writing about it. Plus, there are so many shows out there I feel that my audience is not trying out for one reason or another, and I may have to inform you guys about these gems. So give Project Runway All Stars a chance.

Next time: Happy Endings on ABC (seriously people, this show is uh mah zingly hilariously genius and incredibly underrated, but more on that later)

An open letter to 2011

May the obligatory, thoughtful year-end blog begin. Enjoy. (Note: I'm writing this while experiencing some great pain in my back, the only way this might make less sense is if I were on lovely drugs to get rid of the pain so bear with me).

Dear 2011,
You started off pretty sucky. Brand lost his job but we never lost our footing. He silently freaked out while I buckled down and prayed for a miracle. In two months we were supposed to be jetting off on our dream vacation in Ireland and we could barely pay for the necessities. But then a month and a half later you answered with a perfect job for Brand: a perfect fit, doing what he loves to do, with room for growth. Just in time for our amazing Irish adventure where I fell in love with the country, the people, the food, the beer, the candy, and the spirit. I thank you for that. You blessed us with a beautiful spring and a hot summer. We found our place in the most perfect small group at church and found new friends.
It was the end of August that you proved to be a year of give and take. My father being diagnosed with a progressive, terminal illness made all the wonderful of 2011 seem so far away. 2011, you broke my heart. You found my kryptonite and used it against me. You messed with my family. But thankfully, someone is more powerful than you 2011. God blessed me with a wonderful family, the ability to live out dreams and adventures, the ability to laugh through the tears, and pray through the silences. He set in motion every person in my life to be a part of what I'm praying will be a miracle that will make 2012 the best year ever. With an army of prayer warriors from my small group, to my friends, to my family, to my dad himself we prayed that the awful that 2011 brought us would go away. After another adventure and lifelong dream of a trip to the Big Apple, that miracle that seemed impossible started to peek at us with a smile on its face. Because 2011, you can't perform miracles. You are just made up of 12 months. You have no power in my life or its outcome. You are just numbers. But God can perform miracles, He is eternal, He is faithful, He is merciful, and He is infinite. That prayer that I prayed the night that my life came tumbling down at my feet, that a miracle would happen, that even if my dad had that awful disease that some day he just wouldn't, no matter how impossible that was, may be coming true. It's hard to be hopeful when you know that you can be right back there on the kitchen floor unable to hold yourself up as you cry your heart out. But God has shown me hope. My dad is feeling impossibly better, doctors are doubting their original diagnosis, and we have no idea what is going on. But we have hope. 2011 you were made of disappointment, fear, adventure, love, intrigue, laughter, hurt, change, growth, and tears. 2012 might bring a lot of the same but I know that God never changes and that no matter what may happen in a year He is with me every step of the way.
So 2011, wipe that smirk off your face. You didn't do a job-well-done, you didn't provide adventure. You were merely just the backdrop of a life that lives and loves because He lived and loved me.

Sincerely,
A hopeful Allison

Happiness is Christmas with the Ekhoffs

Christmas with my family is happiness wrapped up in more happiness wrapped in the arms of a baby seal. It is perfect and lovely. We have traditions (staying up late, going to the capitol building to see the Christmas tree, sitting in our assigned seating, etc). But sometimes we like to mix it up a bit. This year was spaghetti for dinner and epic Nerf gun fight with all family members (including my mom and my dad).

From my 89 year old grandmother to my unborn niece, I can safely say: my family fills my heart so full.